ExitViaTheGiftShopExitViaTheGiftShop
6

ExitViaTheGiftShop

56 – Barnet (Finchley), London, England

Goo goo g'joob

Two-Way Match

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Online: Yesterday

Modified: 2 weeks ago

Mobile Number Verified

In His Own Words

About him

So, I've finally realised, I do actually need someone ...someone to help me change a large duvet cover. But alas, attempting to create a decent profile is an exercise in futility, because a woman's partner selection process (invariably) follows this path...

Is he TALL? (⬅ primeval traits right there)
Can he make me laugh? (yes ...at inappropriate times 😉)
Is he kind? (I'm always nice to Waiting Staff?)
Has he got a nice smile? (my Mum says it's nice)
Solvent with a decent job? (extra fries Ma'am?)
Has he looked after himself? (only to facilitate pie consumption)
Looks good in a well fitting suit? (⬅what Lingerie is to men)
Nice bum wearing jeans? (🤐)
Decent grammar? (Oi, Ms Snobby!)
Good quality (& clean) shoes? (doh, you Gals 🙄)
Smells nice? (you'll need to nuzzle into my neck to find out!)
Is he sane? (yes - occasionally I hear voices ...they tell me things)
Has he avoided a bathroom selfie? (no, I just haven't uploaded it)
Can he protect me from spiders, dragons & baddies (those dragons are a big ask)
Can he erect a level shelf? (never had an erection failure yet)

...but mainly - IS HE TALL? (🙄 I'm 5'11" barefoot)

ME? Just a normal guy clinging on to his own bit of broken-up orange crate in this great flood of life. Originally from Northumberland - the accent lingers (there is no "r" in bath). No tattoos or piercings (& you'll never catch me in Lycra)

Competent pillow fighter. Determined, entrepreneurial/savvy, loyal, caring ...oh, & fun.

I play guitar/piano to a standard which makes toddlers spontaneously weep, but it gives me an enormous sense of well-being (the toddlers weeping bit). I adore live music.

A tendency to over-use three dots ...it's a "Hell No!" to Camping (or Musicals) ...& I hereby pledge that I'll never call you "Hun" or "Babes"

(I don't own a cute puppy, so I've deployed my 94yr old Mum in my gallery to garner some female approval ...it's just a shame her ears aren't as long ...or as floppy)

About his ideal match

(Surely, you don't *all* do stand-up paddle boarding?!)

Ok, here goes...

Someone funny, easygoing, sharp ...warm with a good heart and whose world doesn't revolve around TV/Netflix or Social Media.

She'll not be looking for a "partner in crime"...and I'm definitely going to better aligned with someone who has not taken "Just Eat' as a call to action (there, you can't have your cake *and* eat it)

oh, and she won't have messed about with her eyebrows ...too much! (micro-blading, schhmicro-bladin')

Wow, you sound amazing! (they say you don't exist - but, pah ...what do they know?)

P.S. I'm *NOT* 55 ⬅ a technical inexactitude, done to mess with the search algos - sue me! (but also, when I put my actual age (59), I got whacked with interest from women with a similar aesthetic to Anne Widdecombe). The photo of me on the pier is most recent (July 2023)

What His Friends Say

ExitViaTheGiftShop hasn't asked any friends to write a recommendation yet.

About him

Country of origin:
United Kingdom
Location:
Barnet (Finchley), London, England
Gender:
Male
Age:
56
Height:
5' 11" (180cm)
Body type:
Athletic
Looks:
Attractive
Hair colour:
Other
Eye colour:
Hazel
Relationship Status:
Single
Looking for:
Activity partners; Friends; Let's see what happens; A short-term relationship; A long-term relationship; Something casual
Have children:
Yes, living with me sometimes
Want children:
No
Daily diet:
Eat most things
Smoking:
Never
Drinking:
Occasionally
Education:
University
Occupation:
Self-employed
Income:
Comfortable
Ethnicity:
White/Caucasian
Home language:
English
Other languages:
Portuguese
Religion:
Agnostic

About his ideal match

Country of origin:
Anywhere in the World
Location:
Anywhere in the World
Gender:
Female
Age range:
40 - 56
Height:
5' 0" (152cm) - 5' 10" (179cm)
Body type:
Slim; Athletic
Looks:
Any
Hair colour:
Any
Eye colour:
Any
Has a photo:
Non-negotiable
Relationship Status:
Single; Separated; Divorced; Widowed
Have children:
Any
Want children:
No
Daily diet:
Eat most things; Eat healthily; Vegetarian; Vegan
Smoking:
Never; Occasionally
Drinking:
Never; Occasionally; Several times a week
Education:
Any
Occupation:
Any
Income:
Any
Ethnicity:
Any
Home language:
English
Other languages:
Any
Religion:
Any
  • Not important at all
  • Slightly important
  • Moderately important
  • Decidedly important
  • Non-negotiable

More about him

Personality
Sense of humour:
Witty
Intelligence:
Intelligent
Ruled by:
The head
Party behaviour:
A gate-crasher
Personality traits:
Adventurous; Confident; Daring; Easygoing; Faithful; Funny; Realistic
Valued qualities:
Faithfulness; Honesty; Humour; Sexiness
Fashion sense:
Casual (I'm usually in my favourite jeans)
Favourite clothing:
My trusty pair of jeans
More physical characteristics
Hair style:
Short
Eyesight:
I wear glasses only when reading
Facial hair:
I'm clean-shaven
Body hair:
Average
Body art:
I don't have any
Leisure & entertainment
Date activities:
A picnic in a park; Dinner at a restaurant; Meeting for coffee; Meeting for drinks; Going for a walk
Music preferences:
Blues; Instrumental; Latin; Pop / Top 40; Rock; World
Reading:
I read newspapers regularly
Books:
(Auto)biographies; Business; Non-fiction
TV habits:
I rarely watch television
TV programmes:
Action / Adventure; Comedy / Sit-coms; Documentaries; News
Movie frequency:
Occasionally or irregularly
Movie preferences:
Action; Adult; Art Films; Horror; Mystery
Interests:
Business news; Computer programming; Cooking; Healthy living; Internet; Investing; Music; Photography; Politics; The arts
Sports:
Aerobics; Fishing; Rowing; Running; Walking; Weight training; Windsurfing
Food
Cooking:
I quite like cooking
Food:
Asian Fusion; Chinese; Indian; Pub Grub; Seafood; Sushi; Thai; Vietnamese
Go Out to Eat:
I eat out a few times a month
Dietary Restrictions:
I have none
More lifestyle
Pace of Life:
Manageable
Time at work:
I always put in overtime
Pastimes of choice:
Pursuing a hobby
Time online:
I'm on several hours a day
Family size:
I've got sisters
Relationship Type:
I'm just plain single
Willing to Relocate:
I'm flexible
Likes & dislikes
Animals:
I like animals
Pets (Like):
Cat(s); Dog(s)
Turn-ons:
Assertiveness; Body piercing(s); Dancing; Erotica; Flirting; Intelligence; Long hair; Showing affection in public; Skinny dipping; Thrill seeking
Turn-offs:
Tattoo(s)
The deep stuff
Dream home:
On a beach
Religious attendance:
Never
Retirement plans:
Seeing the world in style
Feelings about using Science Lovers:
Hopeful; Optimistic; Excited
Honesty:
Extremely